My Memorial Box Monday happened last MONDAY!!!
I was looking at young children (especially girls). I have a deep desire and have for many years to adopt my daughter a sister. She has two brothers, but no sisters. I have two of each and my "sister bonds" as so special that I just could not leave my daughter with a hole in her heart. (She doesn't know it, but I feel it is there. She doesn't think she is missing anything. She will learn.)
Many times before when looking at babies my husband would walk over and say "Yeah she's cute, but we don't need any more" or "Yeah she's cute, but we can't afford to adopt" or more recently "Yeah she's cute, but you have a new grandbaby to spoil now we don't need another one." Well this Monday I had not expected any different. I had been praying that if this adoption that was so deep in my heart was to become a reality then please bring my husband on board as I could not do it without him. Same prayer, many months.
Well Monday when I was looking at these little ones I kept going back to one that caught my eye in November. My husband walks over and says "Yeah, she's cute..... If you think we can raise the funds you can get her." IMAGINE MY SHOCK! I could not believe he actually said yes.
I have been on a roller coaster of emotion this past week now second guessing myself because we don't have the money saved to even start much less finish a $25,000 adoption. He has been laid off, but now he is working again so we will eventually have the money, but right now? Why did he agree now? We can't do this now. BUT the little one I am looking at turns 7 next month. The orphange will transfer her out of the baby house. She is very small and not mentally capable to care for herself. How can they transfer her? She can not bathe herself and she is in diapers. How will she survive. We must move quickly, but how? I received more information on her and SHE SHARES A BIRTHDAY WITH MY HUSBAND!!! So cool. Another positive in his book. He is entirely on board. Now I am stressing the "hows" of it all.
However, I will never forget the Monday when he finally agreed. :) God is great and he DOES answer prayers. Definately not in our time but he does answer. Yippee Jesus!!!
Tuesday, January 10, 2012
Thursday, January 5, 2012
Emotion of the Day
This week has been emotionally trying. Ups, downs, all over the place in between. The emotion for the day GUILT! I feel guilt that I want to get a child and bring her home. I feel I am taking away from a family by spending so much (6 months salary) on trying to get one little girl home. I don't know why I feel this way, I guess because my hubby said "we could buy a car with that money". It is not that he wants to buy a car and I asked him if we shouldn't... and he said "You get back 10fold what you give. I say we give to get her." :) That was amazing. My son told me "I know lots of people mom, we can raise the money, we got this." He is 19 and out of the house and I miss him so much sometimes. He has the biggest heart of any of my kids. None of my three children have acted the least like they are being slighted by money that I will need to bring a sister home to the family. Why then am I having so much trouble feeling guilty? UGH!! What a long road ahead this will be. G'nite all. Please pray for me and the *sister* that I can hopefully commit to soon. God Bless.
Wednesday, January 4, 2012
Better today. :)
Okay, I am feeling better today and not so overwhelmed. This is going to be a "small steps" process. I learned more about the little one I want and I still want her (if she will have us). She is almost 7 years old. I would love to start right away; however, also got a handle on some of the finances and that just isn't in the cards yet. I am praying on it and doing what I can do. Hoping to officially "start" by the end of February. My daughter asked "Do you think you will have her home by my birthday?" Sorry to inform her that would not be possible. :( Wish it could, but just don't see it happening by May. The little one is an "older child" and she has special needs so that might make it a little quicker, but I have to have a firm handle on the beginnings of the financing before I can commit to her and start the process. Continue to pray. If it is meant to be it will be. I prayed for months that my husband would hop on board and he literally almost did "hop on board". He went from "no we can't afford one, don't need one" to "if you can finance it... go get her" all in the space of a heartbeat. Could not believe it. As Linny would say YIPPEE JESUS!!! HE had to have a hand in it because my husband has been telling me for years we were not adopting.
Tuesday, January 3, 2012
Scared to Death
Okay... Today has been a mix of emotions. My hubby FINALLY GAVE CONSENT TO ADOPT!!! Now I am scared to death. How to start? Can I fund this? Where to adopt? I have one child I found on ReecesRainbow that I would love to get, but in a country that does very few adoptions. Do I take the chance on that one child or play it safe in another country where there are more children with needs? So lost, confused... now that I have what I wanted I don't know how to start. Pray for guidance... Oh my. :)
Wednesday, December 7, 2011
Memory Box Monday
A blog I am following A Place Called Simplicity posted Memorial Box Monday. I immediately thought about my first Memorial Box Monday story. Although it is not about an adoption is is about a father and daughter; although it is Wednesday it happened on Monday so I believe it still qualifies.
Let me start back at the beginning. A few weeks ago I was at daddy's house and I saw a harvesters box of food. I was SOOOO devasted to realize my daddy had to resort to the harvesters to eat. Was he really so in need of money that he could not buy food? It hurt my heart. What to do to help him? Well after inquiring he really wasn't that bad off; however, a friend thought he was a dropped the box by his house. (We will get back to this.)
My story: I agonized at the beginning of November about a new job. I absolutely LOVE the job I have now; however, I needed the new job for the income. My husband had been out of work for a year and went back to work the middle of September. Needless to say we were behind and my savings had all been used. After a couple of months back to work we are starting to get a handle on things... Then last week my husband was laid off unexpectedly. I was very shocked. No savings at all . All I could think was "what do I do now?" I had expected money to be coming in only to realize NOPE once again not this time. My son is in college so only my daughter at home, but how was I to provide for her when my checks do not cover everything. So I applied for the job even though my heart broke to think of leaving the one I have now.
Sunday I realized I was completely broke. Only $17 in my bank account and over a week before I get paid again. To make matters worse had an email that the job I applied for did not pan out. So no pay increase on the horizon. How to make it through...How to even go to the grocery store. You guessed it Monday daddy called and said "come by here after you get off work". He had taken from the box what he would use and he wanted to give me the rest if I would use it. Little did he know I DID desperately need it. I am in tears as I write this. God does provide for us! Yes, that harvesters box that I was so heartbroken over has saved my daughter and I this week. We actually had something to fix for supper!!! It is a very humbling experience. It hurts my heart to write this. I never thought I would be in this place in my life. I work hard ever day, I try to make things work out... Only to realize HE is the ONLY person that works things out. HE comes through for us when we are at our lowest. HE is with us at all times and never forgets us. We must just trust that he will provide. I thank the Lord that HE does provide. HE has shown his love for me in a very humbling way. The basic necessity of life, nourishment to our bodies... HE has nourished my soul more this week than my body. I am going to start a Memorial box. This is my first Memorial Box blessing to remind me no matter how low things seem HE is still with us and HE will provide.
Praise Jesus. God Bless.
Let me start back at the beginning. A few weeks ago I was at daddy's house and I saw a harvesters box of food. I was SOOOO devasted to realize my daddy had to resort to the harvesters to eat. Was he really so in need of money that he could not buy food? It hurt my heart. What to do to help him? Well after inquiring he really wasn't that bad off; however, a friend thought he was a dropped the box by his house. (We will get back to this.)
My story: I agonized at the beginning of November about a new job. I absolutely LOVE the job I have now; however, I needed the new job for the income. My husband had been out of work for a year and went back to work the middle of September. Needless to say we were behind and my savings had all been used. After a couple of months back to work we are starting to get a handle on things... Then last week my husband was laid off unexpectedly. I was very shocked. No savings at all . All I could think was "what do I do now?" I had expected money to be coming in only to realize NOPE once again not this time. My son is in college so only my daughter at home, but how was I to provide for her when my checks do not cover everything. So I applied for the job even though my heart broke to think of leaving the one I have now.
Sunday I realized I was completely broke. Only $17 in my bank account and over a week before I get paid again. To make matters worse had an email that the job I applied for did not pan out. So no pay increase on the horizon. How to make it through...How to even go to the grocery store. You guessed it Monday daddy called and said "come by here after you get off work". He had taken from the box what he would use and he wanted to give me the rest if I would use it. Little did he know I DID desperately need it. I am in tears as I write this. God does provide for us! Yes, that harvesters box that I was so heartbroken over has saved my daughter and I this week. We actually had something to fix for supper!!! It is a very humbling experience. It hurts my heart to write this. I never thought I would be in this place in my life. I work hard ever day, I try to make things work out... Only to realize HE is the ONLY person that works things out. HE comes through for us when we are at our lowest. HE is with us at all times and never forgets us. We must just trust that he will provide. I thank the Lord that HE does provide. HE has shown his love for me in a very humbling way. The basic necessity of life, nourishment to our bodies... HE has nourished my soul more this week than my body. I am going to start a Memorial box. This is my first Memorial Box blessing to remind me no matter how low things seem HE is still with us and HE will provide.
Praise Jesus. God Bless.
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